my elbows are like buttcheeks. firm and hairy...mine anyways

iamanoctopus @ 2005-08-16T14:00:00

2005-08-16T18:00:31Z

love's a two way dream

Question of the week:

2005-04-28T14:56:09Z

Do vampires have their periods and if so do they eat during that week or..you know. ill frequently check back for answers.

sex is just the bandaid for a gunshot wound

2005-04-10T00:17:37Z

I dont have any teeth
and I have gingivitis..
i went to noho the other day
to become a lesbian
then i realized it wasn't me..
so now im wearing pink
instead of eating lucky charms..

talk about random.

the secret life of icecubes

2005-04-06T12:18:57Z

....icecubes have been the most influential force in
the american landscape over the past three centuries.
being unassuming little cubes of ice has afforded them
the ability to wreak havoc without raising a single
suspicios eyebrow. icecubes shot lincoln, kennedy,
and john lennon. icecubes created global warming as
some sort of sick, masochistic way of punishing
themselves. icecubes are responsible for the poor
global economy and the weakening of the US dollar.

on the flipside, icecubes are not all bad. a team of
icecube scientists created the polio vaccine, saving
millions of humans. it was an icecube who thought up
the theory of relatively, later passing his knowledge
on to one mr. albert einstein. another unknown
icecube secret: the pope bases all of his decisions on
the advice of a small commitee of uber-catholic
icecubes. i'm running out of icecube-related ideas
here, and time is not on my side. more to come later.

seth and I..the march edition

2005-03-17T03:09:40Z

emul8ter25: hi baby!
DTonesGirl: oh i know
DTonesGirl: smashing fun
emul8ter25: were nothing but mammals!!!
emul8ter25: so lets do it like they do it on discovery channel!
DTonesGirl: gross
emul8ter25: tell me about it
emul8ter25: but ill bring a bag for your head
emul8ter25: so ill be able to deal
DTonesGirl: and ill bring a plug for your ass so you wont BM on me

goodnight moon.

2005-02-10T19:43:23Z

the four simple letters that are fail in family. my mind has captured my eyes, my sorrow has captured my body and I am frozen in time. i'm getting older but my thoughts have stayed the same. who does a doctor see when their sick? they have the sheet to diagnose themselves so they might as well start with a backache..hmm will they take a codine or a percocet? i supose there all free. killers are victims, judges are killers and the audience is waiting to pay. past my window you'll see a little girl curled to the top of a stone wall. on the right of the girl who's afraid of the world awaits another victim with the freedom to fly. the bull comes charging but shes not quick enough to lift up her feet. next time she'll need a running start. the color red wants to escape. i'm wearing red but im also wearing blue. does that mean i'm the center of my country or am i just a lonely girl who doesn't know how to dress? how could I be so alone when the love of my life is to my left and i'm sure he'll be my love in death. with me there is no fail in family. its not that I dont know how to spell its just that its not genetic. so goodnight to the sink, goodnight to the chairs, goodnight to the shampoo still floating in my hair. my three hours is up..its time to pee.

iamanoctopus @ 2005-01-04T23:18:00

2005-01-05T04:19:22Z

Breakfast splatter on my face on my knees on my stove. Grease grease grease on my fingers on my toes. Bacon sizzlies sausage grizzlies. My oven mitt is lost in a freezer full of frost. Defrost defrost the microwave screams but I grab my bottle of spicy Jim beams and tip the glass until my steak screams.
I'm spicy I'm spicy give me some milk but the reply from me was more than I felt. What I said to the steak I did not mean for I was all lopsided from my crusty crippled dream. I dropped my head to the ground and slowly walked away hoping I would forget that minute of the day when I told the steak that I would not pay for one single bite for it digested hay. So I shall now move to deer, to dogs, to cat meows but my future will be miserable because I criticized the cows.

iamanoctopus @ 2005-01-01T18:30:00

2005-01-01T23:57:01Z

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. alisha
2. leash
3. hey mrs mama knock up

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. stargod710
2. crapinmyrear
3. dtonesgirl

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. my wit..like when jim talked about how he couldn't sit in bens seat cuz there was a strap on chair...so i said..so aren't you used to strap ons!! OOOOH HAR HAR..yes moments like that are very akward.
2. ive pretty sweet when im at work or talking with strangers..otherwise im just a cold hearted bitch.
3. how i can hold my crap for 2 weeks then shit out a brick house

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. my recieting hair line
2. my teeth..< that should be # one.
3. my insecurities. i dont want to be anymore!!

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. english
2. french/canadian
3. irish

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. pheonomineons..or however..
2. murderers
3. spam

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. comedy
2. a breast exam
3. toothbrush

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. eyelashes
2. black pants
3. my hole boots

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS (at the moment):
1. rachael yamagata
2. eels
3. radiohead

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS (at the moment):
1. duncan sheik- days go by
2. built to spill-#3 not sure what name.
3. portishead-roads

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. snowboarding
2. photography contest
3. therapy
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP
1. not an overbearing concern but a loving one.
2. comfortable and comedic
3. friendly advice, truth and shared interests.

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE
1. i've never been more dull
2. the doctor stuck metal up my who-ha
3. the operation was a complete success!!

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (or same) THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. lack of a mustache
2. their style -faded jeans, sweater, scarf, hat and boots. EVEN IN THE SUMMER BABY!!
3. straight white teeth..someone in the relationship should have em'.

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. be happy
2. keep exercising..i always lose it after a week.
3. keep track of my womanhood.
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. photography
2. piano/music
3. independent films

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. win lots of money and not have scary mob men after me.
2. get help so im happy and he'll love me again
3. backpack in europe

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. photographer in africa/australia..you name it.
2. documentary film maker ( animals)
3. doing something at a zoo.

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. rainforest
2. england
3. sedona

THREE KID'S NAMES:
1. ezra
2. taylor ( girl )
3. ben pheonix

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. BE HAPPY!!
2. have a girl
3. travel all over!!

THREE WAYS I AM STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY
1. i talk about my endowed treasure chest
2. i will not allow myself to cook or clean..thats a bitches job.
3. i lie alot.

THREE WAYS I AM STEREOTYPICALLY A CHICK
1. im a gay man trapped in a womans body
2. i always think im fat...even if im sickly pale.
3. i change my outfit a million times before leaving the house..but i barely wear make up!!...so that makes up for it.

THREE CELEB CRUSHES
1. jared leto
2. joseph gordon levitt
3. milla jovavich

JUSTIN!!

2004-12-14T15:26:01Z

THREEEEEEEEEEEE MORE DAYS BABY!!....and dont forget your birth certificate.....then again it may be pointless seeing how I CANT FIND MINE!!!.....whooooooooopsiiiiiiiiihd..< disregard this.

what do you want me to say?

2004-12-14T15:22:49Z

oh i dont know...something along the lines of
i'm sorry I left you when you needed me the most
and the past couple weeks you've been so happy and
this is the girl I fell in love with. we'll be
together someday, but all I need to do is work on
myself first because we can't truly be happy until
im better and i stop parenting you. so just be patient

oh and another thing...I SO JUST ATE LUCKY CHARMS!!!!

forever will escape when you release it first

2004-12-13T19:05:43Z

I've never carried my heart in my belly
and it felt so real
so whole
but I knew it was empty
it was somewhere it couldn't go
and somewhere it shouldn't
it didn't belong
so I let go.

the winter heres cold and bitter
its chilled me to the bone
i haven't seen the sun for weeks
too long too far from home
I feel just like im sinking and
I claw for solid ground.
I'm Pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
Oh darkness I feel like letting go.

iamanoctopus @ 2004-12-13T00:18:00

2004-12-13T05:18:33Z

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness.
Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connect to your soul.
You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable.
Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings.

You have great vision and can be very insightful.
In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself.
Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend.
You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer.

Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

eternity is a long time to think about what you should have done

2004-12-13T05:04:41Z

I see people all the time
some happy, most sad. but the sad
ones I see have someone holding on tight
just waiting and waiting for their happiness
to grow.
I guess I grew unlucky.

why does everybody let go?

two seconds of partial enjoyment for a week to be miserable is never worth it

2004-12-12T13:25:47Z

I went to bed to you hurting me
and then I woke up to you hurting me
and yet I maintained my composure and
kept my character. where was yours?
It looks like you could have possibly been
the trigger all along.

I want to hear what you have to say about me
I dont care if your gonna live without me
I want to hear what you want
i'll remember to stand by

That would just make me foolish though wouldn't it?

greed is just a few small towns away

2004-12-11T01:04:22Z

i take it all back. especially when you deprive me of the love you so claim i'm worth. who knows maybe the medication made me hallucinate and see you as someone else. someone I met a few years ago.. you know the kid that used to respect me. its not that hard to say " yes i can finally be there for you" without me having to cut myself or stare at a bottle of pills for an hour. who would have thought i could need you when i wasn't in the ground? not you thats for sure. no matter how healthy and happy i'll become you'll always be the same. you'll meet someone, grow a heart, maybe buy them a 49 cent seal at a thrift store and then realize it's a mistake the first time you see them cry. because crying means something too little for you. crying means you have to let them go..even though you thought you were in love. after all how could you possibly be there for them when inside you knew it was just a thought and couldn't possibly be real. It's because the only things you so deeply care about all have your last name, play in a band or have a couple wheels. you can always dream someday you'll have the perfect person and who knows maybe you'll wake up to actually find it. but make sure to let them know their never allowed to cry or their never allowed to be mad and after that if they still somehow make the mistake of shedding a tear.....tell them you love them but you can't be there for them because you need to hike in the morning.
with sincere regrets,
alisha

mad at fiction

2004-12-08T04:53:08Z

you were lying well awake in the night
trying to get over your sorrow
and i can never really see you depart it
but your my baby

so not how the real lyrics go..but i like it that way.

( you were lying well awake in the garden
trying to get over your stardom)...I DONT KNOW A STAR!!

iamanoctopus @ 2004-12-07T20:22:00

2004-12-08T04:23:40Z


looking like david bowie is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

i think im in love

2004-12-05T05:30:52Z

but it feels like the first time. I feel happy and I feel new. I dont feel ashamed of myself or ashamed of the idea of loving the same person for the rest of my life. who could be ashamed of that? I know that in all my grief i've always had a break in my thoughts but I just couldn't let it stay open long enough. It's over. I have peace and I don't have to worry anymore. It's finally over and i'm in love. with the blink of an eye the rush ran through me and I have the chance to be happy..I dont think i'll pass this time.

apparantly i almost made out with a 50 year old guy

2004-12-01T03:38:43Z

NO MORE BOOZE FOR ME!!!!

( in movie preview voice) the sink is dripping....

2004-11-05T03:59:51Z

THE WATER'S GONE MAD!!

HEIDI!!

2004-10-25T03:44:34Z

I MET SOMEONE THAT'S JUST LIKE YOU!!..SHE LOOK'S LIKE YOU AND EVERYTHING!!..only we almost kissed and I SAW HER BOOBIES!!...start steppin' holmes.

i have no cheese

2004-10-07T04:11:24Z

but i have a car now!! 99 nissan sentra..hopefully this one will work out. DAMN DRUNKS THAT BRAG ABOUT DESTROYING PEOPLES CARS!!..and then he went to walmart and intentionally spilt hot coffee on himself so he could sue.. HA! yea nice try buddy

iamanoctopus @ 2004-09-16T00:55:00

2004-09-16T05:01:04Z

ive been thinking about you so much lately. the last time i saw you it was perfect. you were the perfect girl walking down the hallway and thats how i'll always remember you. you were sad just like I am. we were sad together and you must be so happy now. it must feel so good to know that you did deserve that kind of love. that kind of love you only get from god. i love you marie

sept 16th 2003
g richards: thank you for being a mom to me. your office was my home and so was your mind. thank you for always telling me the things i needed to hear and helping me cope with all the bad things i've felt. your with your family and your heart is healed. i love you so much and i'll see you again.

iamanoctopus @ 2004-09-15T21:47:00

2004-09-16T01:48:54Z

wow for being so talented mr ripley sure knows how to burn toast. well actually can you burn toast..or are you just burning bread..oh well i'll have to go speak with the misses on that one.

p.s disregard this entry..it was a mistake.

iamanoctopus @ 2004-09-14T22:21:00

2004-09-15T02:22:09Z

if you were ever in this state..i would never..ever take away the only thing that could truly make you happy. you just made the biggest mistake of your life.